Self-expression and creativity sit at the core of art-making.

We pour our hearts into the craft. Channel our deepest, most intimate emotions and experiences into sound, colour, or words, hoping it finds an audience that resonates.

Beneath the surface of that beautiful process, many of us carry a struggle we rarely name.

Self-loathing.

A word about the word itself, before we go further. "Self-loathing" is a trigger of sorts. The very premise of admitting to a feeling as strong as loathing in relation to the self is an incredibly bitter pill to swallow if taken literally. I'll be honest: I'm not sure I'm ready to vouch for the complete accuracy of the terminology, and it may be something worth sitting with rather than settling. But what the term points to remains pertinent, all things considered. So I'll use it here, held loosely.

Self-loathing is intense self-criticism and dislike for oneself. It usually shows up as feelings of worthlessness, failure, and an inability to take in our own achievements.

For a long time the territory in itself was taboo. 

The stigma around mental health, along with the belief that admitting feelings like these was a sign of weakness by default made sure of that. 

That's starting to shift. Society talks more openly about mental health now, and social media, with its constant comparison and relentless pressure, has pushed these feelings to the surface for everyone to see. 

At least we're talking about it. Even if not always 'perfectly'.

Recognising and addressing self-loathing matters for anyone.

It's still not the kind of thing most of us are even equipped to confront though. Usually, the precursor to even get to a point of that degree of self-reflection is deep inner work (or it's less pleasant, outsourced version: urgent crises).

For professional creatives especially, it can take on a different dimension. Our careers depend on personal expression and hence, emotional health. And the non-linear lifestyle, with its mercurial highs and lows, makes this an especially important theme to understand.

Let's discuss.

Self-loathing among musicians for example (lived experience I can speak from), is more common than most people realise. 

The pressure to meet high expectations, the constant comparisons, the fear of failure: these were driving intense self-criticism long before the internet arrived to amplify them.

Over the years though, I have come to realise that the actual factors underneath are absolutely not exclusive to professional artists, even if exacerbated in some capacities.

I trained under Kenny Werner, whose book Effortless Mastery names the problem with uncomfortable precision. 

What I took from that work, and keep returning to decades into a professional career, is the recognition that our struggles at the instrument are rarely purely technical. 

How we feel about ourselves is woven into how we play, whether we acknowledge it or not.

Here are some of the most common ways I've watched this inner turmoil manifest, both as an artist and as a mentor:

❌ Imposter syndrome: Feeling unworthy of success and fearing exposure as a fraud.

❌ Perfectionism: Setting unattainable standards and tearing apart your own work.

❌ Anxiety and depression: Mental health struggles made worse by the demands of the industry.

❌ Isolation: Feeling disconnected from others despite external accolades and recognition.

These can be demoralising challenges . 

They affect not only a musician's career but our overall quality of life.

I'll offer one example from my own. For years I lived without a piano in my daily life. I told myself it was logistics: the nomadic lifestyle, gear in storage, no fixed base. All true. But underneath the logistics was something less comfortable. Part of me had decided that my own daily access to the instrument was optional. That everyone else's needs could come first.

When I finally decided to invest into a  piano to bring into my Berlin studio apartment inside a co-living space designed for the light-footed type despite all the gear stored away in studios I work in at different cities I juggle as a base, I noticed the change reached beyond the musical. 

Something about how I valued myself, my artistic practice was recalibrating as a result.

In my experience, this is what the pattern often looks like in practice. It doesn't always announce itself as dramatic collapse. 

More often it accumulates through small, reasonable-sounding decisions that all point in the same direction, away from yourself. Including uassuming baggage about deservability or inconvenience of a 'piano at home'. An instrument that remains a lot more privileged in parts of the world than many of us realize. 

The first step, in my experience is acknowledging blind-spots like these as a professional hazard.

The next is seeking support: mentorship, coaching, or therapy that addresses both the personal and professional sides of this unique lifestyle. 

Believe it or not, I was just finished with an intensive mentorship program that didn't even have anything directly to do with pianos when the epiphany of it all downloaded to my brain. 

Mentorship with a holistic perspective takes a comprehensive approach. It works with the practitoner's mind, body, and spirit.

This methodology recognises that personal growth and professional success are interconnected. Address one without the other and you get an incomplete, unsustainable practice.

Here are a few more specific ways it can help.

The right coach helps you build skills to navigate your inner emotional landscape. That means a range of tools for understanding and managing stress, anxiety, and self-doubt: mindfulness practices, cognitive-behavioural strategies, emotional support. The goal is a healthier relationship with yourself and your art.

The physical demands of a musical career are severely underestimated. The toll on the body is not a myth. Musicians are high-performance athletes, except we do it for longer and usually at a fine motor level.

A balanced lifestyle, with the right kind of exercise, nutrition, and rest, benefits enormously from guidance. Prioritising physical wellbeing doesn't just enhance energy, resilience, and performance. It maintains them.

Clarity of mind is essential for creativity and long-term decision-making. Practices like meditation, journaling, and the right kind of mental conditioning clear the clutter and keep you focused on the bigger picture. These skills help you make informed choices and stay aligned with your purpose.

A good mentor curates a combination of tools for your individual needs. Or helps you build your own.

Spiritual beliefs are deeply personal territory.

I approach this as learning to nurture our true spirit rather than through a conventional religious lens. My own path here runs through martial arts philosophy, yoga, and somatic practice: traditions that treat the inner connection as something you train, not something you wait for.

Connecting with your inner self and higher purpose is grounding in a way few other things are.

The mentor's job is to be a guide, encouraging you to explore your values, beliefs, and aspirations without fear. That fosters fulfilment and authenticity, so you create from your own centre rather than from external norms.

So we've established why working with a mentor can be crucial for a musician's growth. 

Now the trickier question:

Truthfully, it's a complex question and it wouldn't be fair to oversimplify it.

I'll add this from my own experience: after thirty years in this profession, I still work with mentors and coaches myself. Not because I feel dependent on them, but because nobody has completely objectivity about their own blind spots. And like Seyes of the Gorrilaz says, 'Life is a Team Sport.'

The people I trust most in this industry all have someone in their corner. 

That alone tells you something.

I wrote an entire article on this which you can read here. While aimed specifically at musicians, the tenets are quite universal. 

But here are some pointers in the meantime:

✔️ Empathy and understanding: A mentor who can relate to your unique challenges.

✔️ A holistic approach: Someone who addresses the emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual dimensions.

✔️ A proven track record: Experience successfully mentoring others.

✔️ A sense of trust: A mentor with whom you feel a genuine connection.

✔️ Detachment and disinterest: Apparently contradictory to the last point, but essential. Your coach should give you the objectivity you won't have when you're in the thick of it. If they're overtly invested in you, that is a potential red flag.